FREE real sites you can use, how they rate, and how to pick up the ladies on them...
I find it a little sad to see guides for sale offering online dating tips. Do people really need to pay for this information? Someone with a lot of experience should just spill it and declassify all of the supposed secrets of how to 'get some' from online searches. There are obviously a lot more single men than women, and obviously, women have a much easier time than men at finding sex online or otherwise. There seems to be a throng of men looking for it and the women can be as picky as they want. How do you get on top of the crowd and be the chosen one when a hot gal wants a date?? This blogger has done it many times, and I am going to tell you how...free of charge no less. (And don't get me wrong, gals, I am genuinely looking for the right long term partner, or at least any real gf I can start again with. The info below is what I have learned along the way, posted here for others to learn from...)
First, get a friend to take flattering pics of you. If you are obese, do not use head shots only- women are on to this trick. You are better off making it known that you are obese to start with. Do you really want to go through a lot to get a gal to meet you, then have her see how big you are? She will almost surely not put out, bud. I know one woman who experienced this. He traveled six hours to see her, and was huge. She said he could stay overnight before driving back, but could not touch her. He asked why not and she said "you didn't tell me you were a hippo!". Do you want this to happen to you?? If you are big, do not hide it. A lot of women are too, and they accept it. So if you meet up, she will know and expect you to be whatever you are. This works both ways, of course: be very leery of gals with only face pics.
Third, learn to write and spell. Virtually every woman I've met and/or written to from dating sites has told me the same thing: they all get swamped with hundreds upon hundreds of messages, the vast majority of which are from guys who can barely write a coherent sentence. They all ask crudely for sex or nude pics. So if you can write a decent paragraph, you will be noticed right away. Then avoid mentioning sex or nudity and you'll be very interesting to them. Further, if you say you have a job, a car, and your own place to live; and, that you do not use drugs and are not a parolee, then you will do very well indeed. Aside from that, talk to them about your hobbies and interests, and what you like to do on a date. Tell them why you are alone and seeking a long term partner (whether true or not...). Then ask them to consider replying. They will.
Fourth, use the sites that work. Free sites are best of course. The only free dating sites I have ever found are : meetme, plentyoffish or POF, mingle2 (fka mingles), fetlife, and datehookup or DHU. I have seen articles about these sites "investigating" their reality. Let me assure you, they are all real, and I have met numerous, real people from each of them and had sex resulting from these meetings with actual women, from four of the five sites listed. And all for free.
Pay sites are not so good. First, you have to pay them about 20 a month. Then, you may or may not get something for it. The most well known pay site is AFF, or adult friend finder, and its numerous spinoff sites and fake blogs which are just disguised ads for them (about any dating site with the term 'finder' or 'friend' in it is likely affiliated with them). They charge for anything you do on there- even sending a 'wink'. But they are very large, and if you are willing to pay, it could be worth it. I have also met real people in person off of this site. However, watch for their 'auto-renew' thing regarding your credit card info. Most pay sites are similar to this, and you pay for any communication whatsoever with other members.
Fifth, seek dates locally. There are single women everywhere. You do not need to seek out women an hour's drive away when they are in your neighborhood. If you live in a small town, start locally and slowly spread your net. Look for women in the next nearest town, your county, and so on until you hit the nearest metro area. If you have to search beyond that, you are definitely doing something wrong.
By the same token, other sites to avoid, including pay sites, are any mentioning foreign brides or Russians. Filipinos, Russians, and others are not using the net to see American men. And you do not need to send them money for a plane ticket to come see you...If you are that ignorant then offer to go see them...see what they say. Russia is a very big and populous nation, and the Philippines is full of very strict Catholics who will not have sex before marriage. And you are about to send them money why- because they are too desperate to find a guy where they live? Give me a break! Trust me--there are plenty of single, lonely, American women to choose from!!! For free even.
Russian women are just bad news. Yes, there are lots of beautiful Russian women that are single. But the Russian men are already there, guys- so why would they want you? Russian women are just white women, usually, that are no different than single white women in Poland or England. So why pursue them specifically? It makes no sense. Especially if you are American and living here in America with the thousands if not millions of single women around to pursue. Despite what the movies portray, Russians are not obsessed with America nor do they all know English. To avoid all the scamming, just stick to local gals.
One 'Russian' gal I was writing once sent me pics that were clearly professionally taken. 'She' also sent me a poem I found on other Russian scammer sites. Then she said it was a sunny day. I looked up weather in her supposed town and found it was cold and rainy...INVESTIGATE all things foreign!!! Better yet, just forget them altogether: foreigners do not know you, need you, nor want you...and you should never ever need to send them moolah for any reason whatsoever! If they were real and wanted to see you that badly, they'd come to you or better yet tell you where to meet them in their town, instead of begging you for 'plane fare'. Anything involving Nigeria, Africa in general, or any foreign country is a scam! Just do not!
So what do you want to look for in an online profile? I have noticed a lot of gals post that they like "hunting, fishing, camping, mudding" etc...Ya I bet! They just want to impress guys is all. Which means they are desperate. So message them. If a gal has no profile pic, she is doing one of three things: she is attached and cheating, trying to stay incognito; she is a slut that is on there to ask for sex only and breaking the site's rules most likely; or, she is afraid people will think she is fat/ugly and wants to talk to guys first to woo them a little before revealing her appearance. Any of these three are gold. Profiles without pics are therefore to be sought out. If they say they are seeking long term relationships only, do not let that scare you away. Many use that status to deter the morons that fill their inboxes with lewd requests. Even the ones that mean it are still horny women that will get close to a good guy quickly. Don't want long-term? If you want to get laid- keep that a secret! Always claim to want long term unless she says otherwise first. The ones that claim to want 'casual dating' or 'no commitment' actually are looking for the right guy they can keep. So let them try you out as a possible candidate: most likely you'll get a good time out of it; maybe you'll click with her...
Most women that are 30ish or more have kids and make sure you know it. They like to say "they are my world" so as to warn you that the kids come first before any boyfriends. This announcement is belabored logorrheically on all dating sites. A similar scenario exists with occasional gals who proclaim that family is very important to them. This really means that they would rather hang out at family barbecues and spend all their holidays with their distant cousins than be with their boyfriend/date. Beware these women. They usually have secret crushes on their cousins and other 'relatives' by marriage, step-, or foster- whatevers. It is precisely these type of women that allow their relatives to meddle in their relationships, which of course dooms them. Trust me: just don't.
Aside from these guidelines, explore. You never know what may await you. One profile I accidentally clicked on as 'want to meet' had an unflattering profile pic and a generic 'just ask me any questions you have' type of description. She turned out to be a very kinky nympho and made an excellent new year's eve date. Another one, on the now-defunct Yahoo Personals, had no profile pic and checked that she was 'a few extra pounds'. I thought, oh boy...But once I met her she was very pretty and quite slim. Never forget: all women think they are fat- even the anorexic ones! She also turned out well as a wonderful fling partner.
The ones that end up being just too ugly or morbidly obese, or what-have-you, are easy enough to ditch if you prepare properly. Meet them in a public place the first time, such as a store or mall. Then they are at ease and not worried about serial killers etc., and you get to bow out if needed by saying you'll call them when you have more time. Actually, they can and will do the same to you from time to time. But it's not a big deal- start messaging the next one or three.
The reality is that most people do not have much free time these days and have little to do outside of work. They wish they had all these hobbies, but really do not have time. So whatever your claimed hobbies or interests are, become theirs. Women are lonely, and will be glad to fish or whatever if it means getting what they really want from a man.
What do women really want then? They want snuggling more than anything, so assure them they will be held and snuggled during scary movies and other times. They also want security and stability, instead of a mooch that would live off of them. They want self-sufficient hunks who will lay them nightly and make them feel special somehow. They want guys who can write and drive and stay out of jail. They just want a partner to help deal with life. Present yourself that way and you will get some, for sure.
A few footnotes about the sites mentioned:
MeetMe used to be excellent, and this blogger has met several women with it. Also doubled as a chat page. BUT they are the only site I've ever come across that actually uses the permission to 'modify/delete SD card contents'. Do not use their app; just make a shortcut to their site unless you want video ads placed onto your SD card weekly. Their tampering with mine scared me so I removed the app and do not recommend it. It also has lately become a thicket of fake profiles- fake meaning clickbait non-real profiles which mine people for contact info and pics to use for ads and spamming of the porn sites they emanate from. You can usually tell these by them being very new profiles; with zero, one, or very few pics; no live feed; and ongoing suggestive statuses. Between them and the ever increasing use of the pages as classifieds for potheads wanting to buy and sell their dope, I left the site. Tried it again later on, and found they had redesigned their site. It is now extremely difficult to use in every way- just not worth the trouble.
PlentyofFish is also very good and makes it easy to find/meet people. You can select what you are seeking, such as dating, marriage, or intimate encounter. You can also filter out people that seek marriage for example, as well as people who list that they use drugs, etc. It works well for the picky ones. Finding people who actually put intimate encounter status works great if you seek sluts. I have also had good luck with this site, and their app is fine. If you consider how many gals stood me up and/or ditched me on dates from this site though, it's a little telling. Maybe POF girls are all skittish?? But- if you ever want to quit the site and delete your profile, you will have to pay them money! You must "upgrade" to do that. Therefore your only option to leave the site freely is to delete your pics and change your profile info accordingly. You cannot leave the fields blank, nor post a few short words. You must write a few sentences per field. On mine I ended up putting a string of random letters until it was long enough for them.
DateHookup used to be very good as well. Their app works well and they make it easy to search for nearby people. It seems to be a little lesser known but still has lots of members. When you use the 'want to meet' feature on there, you will find that most people do not actually want to make the effort to meet. You are better off just writing to the ones you like. One gal I met on this site drove 100 miles to meet me at a McDonald's. We talked, she seemed to think I was weird, we parted ways. I never heard from her again- and I skipped a Coal Chamber concert for her! So it goes sometimes...However I've met several other great women from here, including one that introduced her whole group of friends to me. Unfortunately, recently scammers have been overtaking the site with fake profiles. Look out for beautiful women with only one picture, who do not accept winks, live 800 to 1,000 miles from you, and seek men 18-82 or so. These are fake and becoming ubiquitous on there.
Mingle2, while free and functional, just never got me anything from anyone. It could work, but also does have more than its share of Russian phonies on it. The only messages I've ever received on there were from profiles in Asian countries. They constantly want you to pay to see who 'wants to meet you'...It's worth a try, though trying the others first will likely work out for you anyway. I quit the site eventually.
Fetlife is also free and is facebook-style in organization. Though it is supposed to be for all fetish lovers, many fetishes are not listed or mentioned at all. (It is mainly, though not entirely, folks of the BDSM crowd. It also is seemingly overrun with women wanting to peg men. If you do not know what pegging is, then you don't want to know.) They also have large groups like chatrooms, which in several instances were exceedingly rude to me. Still worth a try- many, many locations, groups, and members are on it.
Philanderers.com is frequently mentioned in articles on the net as some kind of paragon of websites for cheaters. Actually though, it does not exist anymore. Other well known sites, such as AFF, cheaters.com, match.com, lavalife, cupid, and zoosk- all are pay only sites. Sure you can join for free and on some sites even send a wink, but communication with another member will require cash.
Singles/dating pages and groups on Facebook are all useless. I have met one person on one once, which did not end well. Most of the groups are run by foreigners that barely know English, and allow lots of spammers on the page. Then a lot of desperate guys try to talk to the fake girls, and that is the sum of their activity. Some pages are more populated with real people, though they are hard to find and every one invariably is dominated by a few obsessive posters and/or megalomaniacal moderators on power trips. I have been lambasted many times in different groups, including by the mods, for ridiculous things. If you can get a word in edgewise, you will be talking to people across the country or world anyway almost always. Such a waste of time...
As far as using the personals sections on Craigslist, I do not recommend it. This is an area that this blogger has a lot of experience in. It will become a separate post later, but in general, 90% of the ads on there are posted by scamming/spamming sex sites, and 9% are just gay men trying to talk straight guys into first-time blowjobs. The remaining 1% are real women seeking men. How to spot them is another post. Basically, it's a huge waste of time that will fill your mailbox with spam for years. I have only met one person off of Craigslist, ever, and that is an amazing feat.
Occasional searches over the years for other truly free sites have been fruitless. If anyone knows of any, please inform me. By free I mean no fee to pay for anything at all, and ability to contact other members, view their profiles, and write what you want to them without deletion or cost.
Beware liars/troublemakers/instigators, etc. Record at least the audio of every sexual encounter you have. False accusations can be dismantled quickly this way.