When things are investigated, knowledge is extended. When knowledge is extended, the will becomes sincere. When the will is sincere, the mind is correct. When the mind is correct, the self is cultivated. -- Confucius
Politically correct ideals are garbage: true wisdom comes from decades of deep thought and neutral observation. Only a so-called sociopath could ascertain wisdom from this crazy world in a neutral way. Cool thoughts- uncorrupted by modern politics, social norms, or societal ideals- are required for wisdom. Questioning everything, and going against the grain on all universally accepted norms is the path to true intelligence. The Gods notice this.

2/19/09

Carry Hammers

A redneck is a sickening creature. Older people will tell you that a 'redneck' used to mean someone with short hair, who would get a sunburn on their neck. When I was in grade school I was incessantly teased for being a 'redneck' because I had long hair. The teachers did not understand this, nor did I.

Nowadays, a redneck has come to mean something much more. A redneck now entails someone that chews tobacco; speaks with an exaggerated version of a southern accent; makes a hobby of hunting and any other animal abuse they can concoct; drives a pickup truck; is obsessed with off-road motorcycles, four-wheel drive trucks, and trucks with oversized tires; and is quite taken with country-western music. They usually wear cowboy boots, either cowboy hats or baseball caps, and too-tight blue jeans.

Rednecks walk around like there is a corn cob up their ass (there might be, actually...) and have a particular way they strut around as well. This involves cocking their arms back and outwards- like chicken wings- and then tilting their head back slightly, closing their eyes partway, and using the corn-cob walk.

It is baffling that comedians such as Jeff Foxworthy and Larry the Cable Guy are actually able to make a living making fun of these cretins. What americans find amusing about redneck stupidity is beyond me. Their jokes seem to revolve around being stupid and/or uneducated, hoarding junk, not knowing how to fix things properly, killing animals, being unkempt, and inbreeding. While all of those things apply to rednecks in reality, it is quite odd that the general public finds them amusing rather than disgusting or at least pitiful.

Since rednecks think animal abuse is so cool, they not only hunt but most of them trap and fish as well. All of them are quite fascinated with rodeos. I once had the displeasure of living in a small town in Missouri (Ravenwood) that was chock full of rednecks. It is funny how so many people in the rural areas of the Midwest get caught up in this condition, but it is not confined to the West (cowboy-land), nor the South (hicksville). Rednecks are everywhere. Especially the rural Midwest (farmer-o-rama). When I lived there, one of my neighbors had set up a sawhorse in his backyard, and attached a plastic cow head to it. Every day he went out there and lassoed it for at least an hour. Another neighbor actually had a horse living in his garage, which he trotted around town once a week. I am not making this up.

They also are invariably big-time 'patriots' who wholeheartedly support everything the Founding Fathers were opposed to. They hoop it up when the american military murders people around the world, and support imperialism 1,000%. Just like they support violence against animals, they support violence against humans too, including their women. The vast majority of rednecks beat their women.

Rednecks are a combination of two main cultures: cowboys and hillbillies. What are they? Cowboys come from a background that is pretty sick. And hillbillies, well....Why is this 'cool' to them? It is probably the result of what half-retarded career animal abusers do to their kids at night...

The most pressing question here is what should be done about them? It is they who make up the ranks of the NRA, hunting clubs, and chewing-tobaccy sales. Without their presence this society could be free of hunting, tobacco spit on the sidewalks, and inbred freaks stumbling around your local department store slobbering on your groceries.

I propose a three step plan:
1. Start carrying hammers. Whenever you encounter a redneck, hit it in the head- hard. It will either knock it normal, or will reduce their population by one. Win-Win.
2. Outlaw incest, chew, hunting, and four-wheelin'. This will force them to re-evalute their lifestyles and just maybe cause them to take up thinking.
3. Start a non-profit group that raises money to send them all to NYC. It would be easy to trick them into thinking they won the hoop-n-holler contest last year, and this is their prize! Once in NYC, the populace there would take care of them, if nothing else by laughing them out on a rail!

The hammer idea would work best I think.


(c) james platt

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